HENLO FREN! How dogs talk online.

Boris the Mini Aussie demonstrates a blop. Or is that a mlem? (Photo by author)

While it is commonly said that cats rule the Internet, dogs are no online slouches. And while cats just sound like grumpy humans in the subtitles on their pictures and videos, dogs exhibit a unique dialect all their own. If you’ve ever browsed a dog video on social media you’ve likely noticed the distinctive grammar and jargon that seems to afflict nearly all pooches once they hit the computer to narrate their adventures.

First off, dogs are terrible spellers. While this is no doubt a function of the incompatibility of canine paws with human keyboards, it can make for interesting reading. Beyond that, their playful happy-go-lucky dispositions (mixed with a bit of sass now and then) require them to use a number of specialized terms not found elsewhere. A dab of internet memes from the non-dog world and abbreviations from texting also get added into the mix. Put it all together and it can be a challenge for mere humans to keep up. I therefore offer this brief guide to some common terms (along with their meanings) you might encounter if you wander into doggo territory:

• Bamboozle (trick, fool)
• Blop (sticking out tongue slightly, usually inadvertently)
• Bop /Boop (tap on the nose)
• Bork (bark)
• Chimken/Chimkin (chicken)
• Clip-Clop Neigh Doggo…