49 Reasons I Haven’t Written My Book Yet.

There have been….issues.

(Source: iStock)

1. It was rainy out.
2. I need to pick the right topic. A book is a big commitment and if you start out pointing in the wrong direction you could waste years of effort. Can’t have that.
3. I need a big block of uninterrupted time to do my best work. Like three or four years worth. Weirdly, none of those convenient multi-year interludes have popped up just yet where I have endless duffel bags of spare cash laying about and simultaneously find myself with zero responsibilities, distractions or human interactions of any kind.
4. I’m still young — there’s plenty of time. (54th annual edition).
5. My mouse isn’t working right.
6. I had that one good idea going a few months back for a children’s book where the mom was a space pirate super-spy with a farting problem but then I kept adding genres to the mix until it was an ungodly hash of every single kids movie and book I’ve ever encountered and …well, you know.
7. I’m worried that if my farting space-pirate tooty-mom super-spy opus gains worldwide acclaim it might somehow undermine the credibility of my other book idea, a non-fiction meta-analysis of geopolitics and the law, the fall of modern governmental and supragovernmental institutions and the erosion of western…